There not being much of a history to discuss with the Living Brain (i.e. none at all), let's jump right into the issue! We start in the senior science class at Midtown high School, which of course is populated with Peter Parker, Flash Thompson and Liz. Really? They spend a whole lot of time together for two people who hated each other. Me, I spent most of my high school years staying away from the people who tended to smash my proverbial glasses. As Mr. Warren calls the class to order, Petey decides that he's had enough of Flash giving him a hard time, and also that he didn't need the glasses anyway! As Mr. Warren starts to talk, Pete tries to pay attention to the lecture, but Flash threatens him with a broken jaw and other various bodily injuries, which can sometimes be mildly distracting.
It turns out that Mr. Petty, a representative from International Computing Machines (IBM anyone?), is at the school to show off one of their machines. Why are they showing it to high school students? Uhm, don't ask such questions. Comic book readers should be seen and not heard! The machine being demonstrated was called the Living Brain, created in the shape of a human body and using one of the greatest mechanical brains created. It's still not living, though, so... yeah. ICM isn't really the most creative at naming the whole way around. He's a big green and yellow guy with lots of light flares and data reels built into his chest. Think of him as an early Roboto from the Masters of the Universe line. He rides around on ball bearings, and has arms capable of simple tasks. Yes, yes. I know balancing on ball bearings would be both impractical and impossible, but these are comics and Stan was probably working his way through a doobie as he threw out this issue in order to make press on time.
In order to do a demonstration of the machine, Peter Parker is selected to assist. Flash, of course, is jealous of the attention Peter gets and Liz wants to see what kind of torture Pete is going to be put through. He impresses the man from ICM (which he should considering the kinds of inventions he creates in about thirty seconds) by understanding the operations of the robot, while two generic goons look on, plotting to steal it and pull off a Biff, making their fortunes on race track gambling. The class ends up deciding to ask the Living Brain who Spider-Man really is, which makes Peter sweat some serious bullets. Mr. Petty decides to go for it, and the class starts giving all kinds of information to the computer in order to see what they think. Turns out that they know that he's 5'10" tall and 160 pounds, and is often spotted in the Forest Hills area. I'm thinking that even modern day computing couldn't do much with that, but maybe this is just the Bat Computer on loan.
The computer answers the question in mathematical code symbols, whatever the hell that means, which means that Parker will have to translate them overnight, buying him a bit more time. Meanwhile, the two goons decide that they will, definitely, steal the machine at their first chance. Flash sneaks up on Peter and insists that Pete is too "weak" to take care of "something so valuable" so he'll decode it. I'm thinking that this is a terrific idea, and that Flash should give it to him. Knowing what an idiot he is, it's likely to answer Betty Brant as the secret identity of Spider-Man by the time he's done with it. To deal with the problem, Mr. Warren does what any teacher would and suggests they go to the gym and beat the ever-living crap out of each other. Wait - what?? I'm thinking Mr. Warren had a short and unproductive career as a teacher.
Topless and with boxing gloves tied on, they meet after class while everyone pretends to feel bad for Pete while secretly hoping he'll get pounded to pulp. Flash even prides himself on how long he's spent trying to get Pete to fight in the first place. What a guy! With the crowd betting heavily on Flash, they step into the ring and Pete uses his Spider Sense (referred to here as Spider Instinct) and reflexes to avoid each of the punches. Peter realizes that the students think he's just trying to run away, and that his reflexes are too good, so he'll just pull his punch as best he can so that he doesn't do any permanent damage. I doubt Flash would do the same for him. This, however, must not be downplayed. Peter punching Flash gives us the BEST panel that Steve Ditko has turned out yet. This is absolutely genius.
While the mighty bout between Flash and Spider-Man (yeah, ok, not really all that mighty), the two generic goons steal the machine and wrestle it out of the laboratory. They are stopped by Mr. Petty, though, who tries to stop them. Goon 1 punches him, knocking him out, but he bumps into Goon 2, who knocks out the control panel on the Living Brain, activating his Kill Humans setting. They probably should have passed on that particular command set in the planning committees. It attacks with its exceptional intelligence (cough cough) blocking off all the exists and flailing its arms like crazy. Finally, it takes a random turn and wanders right into the middle of a classroom where the students are definitely top-notch. This is the honors class, as they immediately identify it as a giant computing machine.
Back at the gym, the fight continues with Flash continuing to whiff with every punch he throws, still pretending that he's playing with Peter like a cat with a mouse. Finally, Pete says that he's gonna teach a lesson to Flash that he'll never forget. Having figured out how to punch Flash without killing him (a useful skill, I have to admit), he smacks Flash with his wrist just as he's looking away, making him look like a jerk all over again. Heaven forbid Flash get a taste of his own medicine! It does, however, give us the second best panel that Steve Ditko has drawn so far.
Spidey bravely dashes into danger, leaping forward with the thought that he can stop the robot frmo above. He's wrong. He gets swatted away but manages to get the kids out of the hallway before webbing the exit closed. Finally, the Living Brain manages to bulldoze its way through the webbing and down the hallway once again. Spider-Man manages to determine that the Living Brain thinks (which I thought was established on page two, but what do I know) and just barely manages to duck the attacking arms. All that practice with Doctor Octopus pays off at last! The two end up locked in battle, Spider-Man pausing only long enough to save more trapped students, but every attack Spider-Man uses is countered by the Living Brain, making it all seem hopeless. Eventually, Spider-Man manages to fight his way to the Cut-Off switch and cuts off the Living Brain, so that it can't operate on its own, and just barely manages to avoid a crushing death. This gives us yet another great, but somewhat awkward, Spider-Man panel by Steve Ditko. Yeah. No comment on this one.
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| And so was born the Japanese Sex Machine industry! |
But wait!! There's more!! In a special back-up story, something really, really cool happens. We get a Spider-Man story written by Stan Lee and DRAWN BY JACK KIRBY! Yes, Jack "The King" Kirby! It's rare to get another interpretation of Spider-Man this early into his career, so let's see what ol' Jack can do with our boy Petey! It all starts with Spider-Man checking out the place of Doris Evans, The Human Torch's girlfriend. He figures he's going to show her what she's missing by not being with him - that Spider-Man.. what a swell guy, huh? There is a crowd gathered around Johnny, driving a new Stingray and having all the women swoon all over him.
Being the jealous type, Spider-Man sees Johnny showing off and decides to do a little of his own. He creates a "web-bat" while Torch uses his "infra-red glowing power" to spotlight a girl dancing, and probably sterilizing her at the same time. Oh, that kooky Torch! The web bat breaks into the room, freaking everyone out. Johnny attacks it with a pillow (??) and finds that it comes right apart. Spider-Man takes that as his chance to make a big entrance, and once again Spider-Man looks like a total jerk, crashing a party and coating Johnny in webs.
Human Torch and Spider-Man continue to bicker, and it ends with Torch shouting his classic "Flame On!" and chasing Spider-Man outside. They have an aerial battle which is absolutely hilarious, despite only being a few panels long, and Kirby really shows that he has fun drawing the action. With a hero as dynamic as Spider-Man how can you not? Spider-Man gets knocked around a bit by the Torch, and discovers the rest of the Fantastic Four watching him, having seen the whole fight. He accuses them of laughing at him, which of course leads to another fight. Finally, Sue manages to slow down Spider-Man and tease him about being muscular and handsome, calming him down enough to end the battle. Spinning a web-heart for Sue, he slings back to New York and this issue FINALLY comes to a close!
Oy. Where to even start with this issue. It's an absolute stinker, and that's saying something when you have Jack Kirby drawing Spider-Man for a few pages! The Living Brain was just an idiotic opponent that went on for far too long, and the boxing match against Flash was pretty out of character. We did get to see Peter lose his glasses for the first time, which I'm guessing will be the status quo going forward. Some of the panels were absolutely fantastic and I definitely enjoyed seeing Spider-Man tussle with the FF, but ultimately Stan "The Man" Lee really let everyone down with his script. It couldn't hold together, and just leaves me wondering what in the world could possibly be next. What? Electro? SWEET! As for this one, I really can't give it more than two spiders.
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